| I thank God that He has filled you with the courage and the desire to lead your family to glorify Him with your lives. The fact that your son mentioned the possibility of moving in with his girlfriend, may be an indication that he is looking for advice, or at least looking for your reaction. I hope so. And I hope he is willing to listen to the words you speak, words which obviously come from a person who loves him.
How you approach this may depend a bit upon your son's attitude. From the information you have given, I am going to assume that he knows what is right and wrong, but is wavering and is in danger of taking a wrong and very dangerous path. Perhaps his girlfriend is encouraging him to move in with her. Perhaps the fact that he sees such living arrangements all around has clouded his thinking. I think my approach would be to sit down with him and point first to the cross and what Jesus has done. Remind him that our sins have destroyed our relationship with God, and that because of them we deserve to have God forsake us and we deserve to end up in hell. Remind him of Jesus' horrible suffering so that we wouldn't need to be separated from God forever. Remind him that because He did suffer and die for us, God loves us with an everlasting love. Because of what Jesus has done, we know God hears our prayers and answers them in the way that is good for us. Because of Jesus, God is with us always to guard and protect us. Because of what Jesus did, we have the solid assurance that when we die, there will be a home waiting for us in heaven. We can hardly even grasp the enormity of God's love, and what Jesus' sacrifice means for us--or what it would mean for us if He hadn't. How scary and depressing life could be if we didn't know about Jesus.
Then, remind your son that when we think of what Jesus has done, it is natural that we want to express our thanks by living our lives to His glory. In fact, we have to thank Him. In the Bible, the Apostle Paul described it this way, 2 Corinthians 5:14-15: "For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." Jesus died to free us from the control of the sinful nature which is self-centered and seeks our own gratification--and which leads away from God. The thought of the great thing God has done for us "compels" us to live for him. We can't help it. But warn your son that the sinful nature is dangerous. That part of us is God's enemy. It teams up with Satan to deceive us, just as Adam and Eve were deceived in the beginning. It can come up with all sorts of excuses, justifying why we should go against God's Word. "Times have changed. The Bible no longer applies." Or "God doesn't like divorce. If we move together we can really see if we are meant for each other." Those are just some of the lies our sinful nature uses to deceive us. That might be a good time to assure your son that as a mother, you so desperately want your children to have what is good. You want them to be healthy and happy. But most of all, as a mother, you want to be together with them in heaven. And you might express the fact that this is what really scares you about his thought of moving in with his girlfriend. God has given marriage as a wonderful, wonderful blessing. And to protect the marriage and the family, He has decreed that sex is to be enjoyed only within the marriage relationship. He makes it very clear that sex outside of marriage is sin. Share with your son that what is so frightening to you about his proposal is that if we deliberately choose to go against God's will, we are dishonoring God. Even more than that, we are telling Jesus' that His sacrifice isn't important--we are actually rejecting the sacrifice. In the Bible, (Hebrews 10:26,27) God tells us, "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God." That certainly is a sobering thought. If we commit ourselves to a sinful relationship, then we are rejecting all that Jesus has done, and the home he has reserved for us in heaven. We are saying that we would rather face God's judgment ourselves--and we will--without the benefit of Christ's sacrifice. And how horrible the result.
You might also point out to your son, that God has given men the responsibility of leading their families spiritually. That though they aren't married, he still has the opportunity to lead his girlfriend in glorifying God. That he may have the opportunity to warn her from doing something that would separate her from God. You might end your discussion by pointing back to the cross and what Jesus did there, and expressing your hope that with his life, he will thank God for the gift of eternal life. Assure your son that you are praying that he will think about these things, that God will give him the desire to honor God with his life, and that he will have the courage to be a spiritual witness to his girlfriend.
May God bless your words! Again, I thank God that He has filled you with the kind of love for your children that you are willing to speak the truth to them. |
